right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
