and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
