I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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