Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
