I look better un-naked...
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
