Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
