Christians are straight up FREAKS
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
