Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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