Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
