if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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