I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
