I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He passed out mid-signature
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
