I only kidnapped one of them. chill
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
