I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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