So drunk, too bad you don't want this
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
