Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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