It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
