I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
