Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
