I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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