So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
im holly from the hills drunk
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
There r osticjed everywhere
Green mimosas i think yes
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
