guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
