OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
