we're blogging at a bar
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
