Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
