I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
