im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
