woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
