he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
