Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
