I'm jealous of your bromance
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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