So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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