I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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