I met the friendliest cop last night
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
