My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
love makes seman taste better
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize