you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
