Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
