Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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