Got a toothbrush?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
