Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
