I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
