the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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