How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
