I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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