Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
