I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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