I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize