I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize