i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
