there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
