I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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