We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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