pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I wish i was in the wii world.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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