I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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