Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize