can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
