if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize