i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
no, he came in my armpit
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
