we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
